This has been one of the worst months ever. And I am not being dramatic.
Our beloved Sashay has been having problems all summer with her back legs. Her mobility was getting progressively worse. At first it was just her rear right leg and then her left wasn't working properly. I took her to our normal vet and they diagnosed her with a collapsed disc. They recommended a variety of med and to restrict her activity for a week and hopefully she would show some improvement. Out came the crate. I thought she would be rebel but thankfully all went well and she accepted her current fate. A week came and went. I carried her everywhere she needed to be. NO improvement. She actually was getting worse. Called the vet which resulted in a bizarre conversation that started with "continue with the meds and limited activity" to "you have done all you can so don't feel bad if you decide to put her down". What!?!? As a professional medical provider, albeit a vet, how can you go from one extreme to the other? I was perplexed and disturbed. So off to a second opinion, which I was so glad I did. The second vet was super helpful. Explained that it was probably tumors on her spine causing the gradual dysfunction. He even whipped out diagrams. Everything he said made perfect sense. Unfortunately the only course of action to help Sashay was surgery. Even before that, she had to have a MRI to determine if it was really tumors. Well - just the MRI runs $1800-$2200. And then if we proceeded with surgery, it is another $6,000. Gulp. As much as I love and cherish my sweet friend - I couldn't fathom putting her through surgery that might not even mend her back. Not to mention spending so much $ for an uncertain outcome. So we tried to make her as comfortable as possible.
After several weeks, it became apparent that her quality of life was being compromised. I had to make that fateful decision. I couldn't see her dignity suffer anymore. Luckily a friend went with me and helped me. Sashay was so cooperative and so loving. My heart aches terribly. The girls are still upset as well. We have decided not to get another dog for awhile. Our hearts need to heal.
I had her body cremated in hope that we could spread her ashes at the beach. Well that idea was immediately dashed when someone broke into my car and stole the bag that had the urn. Unbelievable. I can understand that they would take the bag in a hurry not knowing exactly what it was. But could you have some decency and return it to some officials so we can take care of our family member properly. What is wrong with people? This action. This violation is overwhelming. The hole in my heart is even bigger. I don't know where she is. I don't know what they did with her. The unknown is devastating. I have some hope we will find her again. Until then I just hope time will heal us.
I love you sweet thing and will miss you terribly.
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